Underlying obsessive love are bad object introjects with automatic negative thoughts like “I don’t deserve better”, fantasy defense (“s/he is the perfect match for me”), and catastrophizing (“I will never find such a perfect match again”).
It is a form of trauma bonding.
It is a reenactment of early childhood conflicts (mommy issues) or later life conflicts with parental figures (daddy issues).
Obsessive love is an addiction. Do not rush from one addiction to the next.
Obsessive love is a religion: it makes sense of the world, of your life, and of your behaviors. Find other sources of meaning.
Make a list of all the bad memories and read it aloud three times a day.
Go total no contact, no social media stalking.
Imagine them with others.
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